Natalia. 22. Puerto Rico. In a relationship ♥ I like way too many things to be put on a list. But this is pretty much were I express myself. And spam people with my obsessions. I post adult content, have random bursts of horniness in which all you'll ever see is porn for a while so be warned, if you can't handle it I suggest you leave. Se habla Español
Vampire: Someone offers you a chance at immortality. Do you take it, and why or why not?
Werewolf: If you had to spend your life with just one person, who would it be?
Witch: If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
Ghost: Do you have any regrets?
Frankenstein: Is someone telling you how to live your life, or are you an independent person?
Mummy: If you were to fall into an eternal sleep, do you think anyone would miss you?
Zombie: Do you miss anyone right now?
Faerie: If you could get away with anything, what would you do?
Nymph: What are you like when you’re by yourself?
Mermaid: How far would you go to keep the one you love?
Shapeshifter: What would you change about yourself?
Banshee: If you knew one of your loved ones/best friends had only one day left to live, how would you spend that last day with them?
Siren: If you could make anyone do anything, what would you make them do?
Genie: If you had one wish that would come true and couldn’t be reversed, what would you ask for?
Fury: What is a word/phrase that you dread to hear?
Incubus: What would someone have to do to get in your pants?
Succubus: What’s one thing you can’t live without?
I always write about bad things, so I should give it a change and also write about good things
Today felt like a very fulfilling day, I was all responsible, went to the police station to get my certificate, got quickly dropped off at the station to go to uni. When I got there, I also asked for my uni certificate, or whatever it’s called, and I did it all on time before class started. I even got earlier than the professor!
Then there was this dude in the classroom, he randomly started asking me questions about the class, and subjects about it, plus when the trimester was over, etc etc
After that class was over I even interacted a little with this dude who’s kinda cute/hot and slightly intimidating and I don’t know, the fact that I was all normal without stuttering like I usually do, is making me feel so accomplished
At the end of my last class I ended up staying behind talking to the professor and another girl about sexism, and relationships (it’s weird how the hell did we get into that subject but never mind…) it was so unusual how good I felt about all this
When I got to the station I even got my train student discount card, which I have been stalling for almost two years just because I didn’t want to talk and ask for things, yet I did today and now fucking finally, I have it!
I feel incredibly proud of myself, and even so, because I got to do all this things, without missing my partner. Don’t get me wrong, I always miss him. So very much. But today it didn’t hurt as it usually does. I didn’t have that gnawing feeling I always get when I think about how much apart we are, or how my insecurities eat at my brain telling to not trust him and be on the lookout for everything and everyone. None of that crossed my mind today, and if it did, I would completely brush it off because I truly believe with all my heart that those things are ridiculous and not true. And even though I didn’t talk to him the whole day, I felt calm. Him telling me that he wasn’t gonna be here and what he would be doing also helped… Not gonna deny that It’s the not knowing what sucks. But since I already knew what to expect, I felt perfectly fine with the whole situation. I honestly don’t know how to explain this better.
But basically… I’ve been feeling so dependent on him, especially on my emotions throughout the day . Today was different. It was all me. I was doing my own things, I felt alone, but not a bad alone. More like a “I can really do this shit, I can really be a grown up and be productive and useful, be my own person, without someone else”
I love my boyfriend so much. But I have been focusing so much on him, that I’ve been forgetting myself. Today I did what a lot of people do. Balanced things out, in which I have this safety net in my mind that makes things easier. I’m alone, but not lonely, I have him there, but at the same time in a distance that makes me grow as my own person as well.
Today I felt safe, and just… Good. Normal. I miss him, sure, but he’s far away at the moment, I can’t do much about that. And just keep going, and be patient for the day I get to see him… I can trust him, and there’s no reason why I shouldn’t and that he misses me just as much as I do… That we’re okay and everything really will work amazingly well.
I really wish I could think like this every single day!
… I know I’ve been saying “normal” a lot, but guys, this is kinda like a big deal to me since I haven’t felt normal for a very fucking long time. Like elementary school “long time ago” kinda thing xD
Also, when I say normal, I mean “not feeling like it’s the end of the world, and want to go in a fetal position every time I think about going out and interacting with people” kind of normal x)
It’s been a nice day. Hopefully more days will be like this one.